But Never Me
by Zsadist Cortel
Summary: Lovino loved Antonio, but Spain would never love him.  Spain loves Feliciano, but Feliciano has eyes only for Ludwig.  Lovino thinks on these sad truths. Rated T for safety.


**Summary: Lovino loved Antonio, but Spain would never love him. Spain loves Feliciano, but Feliciano has eyes only for Ludwig. Lovino thinks on these sad truths.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia! **

Antonio was at it again. Romano sighed as he watched the Spaniard coo at Feliciano from across the meeting table. The World Conference was underway, but not many of the nations were really paying attention to Germany's speech. Feliciano was oblivious to the adoring stares sent his way, as he was listening to Ludwig's speech while smiling adoringly. Romano sat quietly, brooding. Romano had loved Antonio all his life, but it had never been him that Antonio loved. It was always Feliciano. Everyone always loved Feliciano.

Lovino remembered the first time he realized that Antonio loved Feliciano. It had been when Antonio had first taken over the southern part of Italy. Even when he had that, Antonio still tried with all his might to get Feliciano. He even attempted to trade Lovino away in exchange for Feliciano numerous times. That hurt Lovino more than anything else ever could. It was like his grandfather all over again. No matter who Lovino loved, they always loved his little brother more. It was sad. Lovino had decided long ago to feel bad for those who loved his little brother. The had never even stood a chance at gaining the younger Italian's affections, considering the only one that Feliciano had ever loved was Holy Rome (who was now Germany).

Ludwig really was a lucky man. Lovino knew this after countless years of being dragged in and out of Germany's wars by his brother, of watching Feliciano defend Ludwig when no one else even bothered, and of seeing Feliciano stay by Ludwig's side no matter what anyone said about it. So many people wanted Feliciano, but Feliciano only wanted to belong to Ludwig. Lovino couldn't help but envy his younger brother.

It wasn't that Lovino hated Feli. Quite the opposite in fact, Lovino loved his brother just as any big brother should. But there were times when Lovino couldn't help but feel jealousy and dislike fill him at the sight of Feliciano. Now, watching Antonio faun over Feli from across the conference table, was one of those times. Lovino loved Antonio. He _loved_ him! But Antonio had eyes only for Feliciano. Perhaps it was just Forbidden Fruit Syndrome, Antonio wanted what he could not have. But if that was so then why did Antonio not pursue one of the other attached nations such as England, Seychelles, or Canada? America, France, or Prussia wouldn't hit him nearly as hard as Germany if he was caught flirting with their significant other...well, America might hit him twice as hard, considering how possessive he was of England, but that was beside the point.

Antonio was a fool. Lovino knew this. Antonio and anyone else who went after Feliciano were fools for thinking they even had a chance. Yet, Lovino could not let go of his love for Antonio, no matter how much it hurt him and would always hurt him. There were three things that Lovino knew for sure: Lovino loved Antonio, but the Spaniard would never love him; Antonio loved Feliciano; and Feliciano would only ever have eyes for Ludwig. It was the sad truth. Lovino would forever love a man who chased after his younger brother, even when said brother was unattainable. It was so sad that Lovino laughed out loud.

"Ve~ What's so funny fratello?"

"Si, Lovi! Whats so funny?"

Lovino glanced up at his little brother and the man he loves and smiles to hide the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. "Life."

(Scene Break)

Lovino spent the entire day with a smile on his face. Several nations had to do double takes and many screamed in fright, taking this as a sign of the impending Apocalypse. It appeared pleasant enough, and Lovino waved away any questions on his good mood, but underneath it all was an overwhelming feeling of hysteria. These feelings would be held firmly in place until Lovino was home and could allow himself to break down in private. When he got home, Lovino went into his room, to prepare for sleep, carrying a glass of wine and the bottle. It would always be Feliciano, but never him. 'Always Feliciano,' Lovino thought as he threw his wine glass at the bedroom mirror and began drinking from the bottle instead. '_but never me_.'

**A/N: Hope this oneshot was okay. The idea just got stuck in my head and I tried my best to write it like I imagined it, but I'm not sure how well I did. This is NOT an HAU story. Just so you know. Review if you can, please!**


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